The air is chilly, the early morning rays of sun are peaking over the mountain tops, filling the clouds with color. People rustle about making last minute adjustments. There is electricity in the air and it's not an impending thunderstorm. Race starts are exhilarating, full of opportunity and energy and of "what could be today". I am present in my mind, body and spirit, it has all of me. Every racer here has their story and is here for a reason, to conquer themselves and discover the outer limits of possibility, push beyond and arrive at a new place within themselves. I am on that journey.
It's August 21, 2010, thirty weeks ago I started battling an infection and now I am standing on the starting line of the Leadville 100. I draw inspiration from those that have battled far darker and menacing threats to overcome them and live again, I am only spectator to their trials. I will run with heart, open my soul to the experience and complete a 10 year dream. Ah, I love visualization.
The reality is that I am okay with any healthy outcome. While I have dreams and goals, simply to live a healthy life with my wife, Annie is achievement enough for me. I accepted on Sunday, the possibility of never running again, I am at peace with that outcome. I have so much more to be grateful for and celebrate, everyday.
It's times like these that I reflect on what I've brought to this world and the people around me, it's not all about the dream of racing Leadville. I could volunteer more, help more people, be more positive, more kind. Today, I'll simply cherish the small things - wash my hair, get cleaned up, get outside and love my wife.
2 comments:
I CONTINUE TO BE AWED BUT NOT SURPRISED AT YOUR RESILIENCE AND ATTITUDE AS YOU NAVIGATE THESE ROILING WATERS.I AM SO GLAD THAT FATE PUT CATHERINE AND ME IN SAN DIEGO THIS PAST WEEK AND WE WERE ABLE TO BE WITH YOU AND ANNIE AND GREG.
LOVE, DAD AND CATHERINE
Thanks Dad. I was thankful as well that you and Catherine were here for the hardest part, the "not knowing" part. You both have been great role models through my life and I have learned a great deal that is helping me through this particular "rough patch".
Love to you both,
John
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